New Comic

Hello all,

There is a new comic in the Comics section. This one is about a frog and the woman that he loves.

Also of note: I will not have as much time to work on this site for a little while. I can tell how disappointed you all are, but I will update when I can. I love you all....

New Comic

Hello loyal patrons,

Buckle up for another gut buster! This one is about a guy named Jerry. I like Jerry. We might be seeing more of him. Also, its kinda about his dad. Dad's day was yesterday, soooo.....

ComicComicComic

Comic,

New Comic, comic comic comic. In the Comic Comic.

Comic.

It's a new comic!

Hey you!

Look at the new comic that I made! It's in the Comics section! I made it!!!!

New Comic Day

Hey Folks,

New comic for you in the Comics section.

Fun Fact of the day: 'Quark' is totally the sound that giraffes make. Also, Quark is the giraffes name. That's a double fun fact!

Bird Comic: It's a Comic about a Bird

New comic in Comics section, check it out. As usual, feel free to laugh pretty hard at it. Don't be embarrassed about laughing at birds either, they love it.

New Comic Day

Hello Friends,

New comic about the sun. Check it out in the Comics section which I will link here for ease of access: http://bit.ly/12HoCPb

Hopefully that works.

Another Comic For You!

Hey there,

I wrote another comic. Check it on out in the Comics section. This one is about babies or something.

New Comicccccccc!

Hey internet, check out the new comic in the Comics section. Two things:

-I'm getting better at sizing the comics.

-I'm getting better at sizing giraffes in my comics. I don't think you can see any of the other ones I have included in my comics. 

New Comic

There is a new comic. Look at it! Its where all the other comics are. Gogogogogogogogogogogogo.

New Comic

New comic in the Comics section. The time it takes me to finish drawing a comic seems to be directly related to the number of hands in said comic. This one has a bunch of hands in it, and some other stuff. Remember that you can click on the comics to see a bigger version of them.

Comic Update

Check out the new comic in the Comics section. Aliens are petty. Still struggling with sizing on these so make sure to click on the comic itself to get a good size.

Comic Update

New comic in the Comics section for you. Its about Russian nesting dolls. It's super funny. Also, you can click any of the comics to make them appear bigger on the screen. I'm still fiddling with the sizes of the images so some of the text comes out real small.

Love Machine.

Comics all day. I think this is my favorite one that I have drawn myself. Love Machine. Check it out in the Comics section.

Nuther Comic for you!!

Bam! One more comic right to the gut. Check it out in the Comics section. You may be able to tell from the quality of the drawing that I also drew this one my self. Because the quality is super duper good I mean.

Comics Update!

Fresh new comic for you kids, hot off the presses. This is one that I drew and wrote myself. I will be doing (hopefully) many more of these so stay tuned.

Got the Hook Up: Part 2

     Gene sat at the bar and waited for Lenny to show up. They were supposed to meet at five thirty, but it was six now and Lenny hadn't shown up. Sitting by himself, surrounded by loud people, Gene thought about how well he actually knew Lenny.
     The people around Gene were local. Judging by the amount of people sitting at the bar and the cars in the lot beside the building, most of them had driven there. They sat around the bar and drank. They drank with purpose. They were dressed in flannel and dirty pants and they wanted to forget that. They laughed and carried on like people 20 years younger then them.
     Gene was would feel himself get a little nervous as the voices rose. Because he was sitting at the bar he could feel people standing behind him and wondering what he was doing there. They would get loud and laugh loudly. Gene knew he had no business being in a place like this. These people had had hard lives. Gene's life wasn't a picnic, but it was different.
     Gene grew up in a family that never talked about their emotions and pretended that everything was okay. His family kept up appearances  In that way he envied these people. All of their hardships were clearly displayed on their bar tabs and weathered faces. They were rageful and happy and funny and they wanted every one to know about it.
     While he sat there, Gene felt like these people could tell he didn't belong. Gene was young, was carrying a shoulder bag with a laptop he had gotten for Christmas, and had been sitting with a miller light for cover, but they could tell.
     He would take a sip from the beer every time he was nervous that he didn't look casual. He had drank three beers in a half an hour so far.
     After college Gene didn't really talk to Lenny too much. They had been friends on facebook, but he had never been to active on there, so it was hard to tell what his life was like from looking at it. His picture had been the same from when he left school and there weren't any new ones on there, or any posts at all really. That seemed to tell Gene something, but he wasn't sure what.
     Could Lenny have become one of these people that were slowly hating Gene as he sat at their bar. Sometimes, in the mornings before work at the library, Lenny would talk about how he used to be a great football player in high school, but busted his leg. He had always walked with a little bit of a limp, but it wasn't something that you would notice without paying attention to it. He was studying sports medicine and graduated with a degree in it.

     At six thirty Lenny finally walked into the bar. Gene wouldn't have noticed it if a few of the other guys at the bar hadn't gotten up and loudly greeted him when he walked in. Lenny was know here, a regular. Gene looked up from his beer and tried to make eye contact with him.
     Lenny stood at the door for a few seconds and saw Gene sitting at the end of the bar. He nodded his head began moving towards him. His limp was much worse than it had been
     "Hey man hows it going." He walked up to Gene and patted him hard on the back.
     "Hey Lenny, its great to see you again, I'm pretty good." There wasn't another seat at the bar next to him, so Gene suggested grabbing one of the empty tables on the other side of the place.
     "Yeah sure, lemme grab a brew first and I'll meet you over there."
     Gene gathered his coat and shoulder bag from the ground beneath his stool. He felt funny carrying all this stuff across the bar to where the tables were. He got a seat by a window that was mostly covered by a large sign for Miller Light.
    Lenny came over with his beer and sat down across from Gene, he held his leg out straight from the table it went right next to Gene, hr would have to step over it to get out.
     "So, Gene," Lenny took a long drink from the beer. "How the hell are you."

Update

Hey internet! I have been preoccupied with some things as of late and my sweet sweet blog has suffered, but no more! I will be returning to daily updates as soon as possible. I added the first part of a story about Gene today. I will add the second part as soon as I can.

I will also be adding some new comics soon. I need to solve some hardware issues, but once those are solved get ready to laugh a bunch!

Got the Hook Up: Part 1

     Gene stepped off the train onto the cold concrete platform. He hadn't been to this stop before, but the bar he was supposed to meet his friend was right near there, so it was his best bet.
     The whole train stop was under a bridge that blocked out the five o'clock sun. As Gene walked out of the station all he could see was run down buildings and highways. They were the sort of buildings that you would see along highways, brick shells that had been abandoned a while ago. You could still see the faded signs on the roofs of the buildings, peeling and old. Most of the windows had been broken. There were buses and taxis lined up outside of the station too. This didn't seem like a stop that people walked out of.
     He had to walk around the train station to find the side walk that led into town. The only difference between the buildings right in front of Gene and the buildings that he found by walking around the other side of the station were the windows. The windows in town weren't completely smashed. It also seemed more residential, but the general feeling of despair hung heavy along the street. He took the sidewalk along what seemed like a road that was too busy to have a sidewalk. He followed the map on his phone closely, continually making sure that he was in the right place. It seemed to be right, but he couldn't imagine there being a bar along this road. He kept walking, up a little hill lined with check cashing stores and arguing couples. At the top of the hill, he could finally see the place he was supposed to meet Lenny.

     Lenny had been a friend from college. Gene knew him from the job that he picked up to help pay for tuition, they had both worked in the library at the school. Gene had worked at the snack bar in the lobby to be more specific, and Lenny was at the front desk of the library.
     When they had met, Gene thought Lenny seemed like a nice guy. It had been freshman year for Gene, but Lenny was a senior. Gene was still young enough to be impressed by older kids talking to him. Lenny kept his hair long and had a goatee too, which made him seem even cooler. He would get the same sticky breakfast roll from Gene everyday saying something along the lines of:
     "This sticky bun is so choice right now man."

     And he would talk with Gene until one of their bosses yelled at them. Lenny would come into work high most of the time too, but no one seemed to notice. If they did notice, they didn't seem to care. Gene had tried going to class high once but almost had a panic attack so quickly learned that wasn't his thing.

     Gene walked down the hill to the bar. There was a small snowy parking lot next to it where a few lonely cars sat. It was five on a Tuesday so he was hoping the place would be mostly empty. He just wanted to meet Lenny and get back on the train.
     There were a couple of guys standing outside while Gene walked in. Gene felt like they had been watching him come towards the bar since the top of the hill and seemed genuinely surprised when he walked into their bar. But he was careful not to make eye contact, or look like he noticed that they were watching him.
     Despite the people smoking outside, the inside of the bar wreaked of cigarettes. There were two rooms separated by a partition leading down the center of the bar. On the right wall there was a bar along with a surprising number of patrons sitting at it. On the left there was a small sitting area that was empty but for a man sitting by himself eating what looked like a breakfast platter.
     Gene looked at his phone again. He had texted Lenny when he had gotten to the train station, but he didn't get anything back yet. He didn't want to seem too forceful, even though Gene was just buying pot from him, Lenny didn't have to sell to him, and he wanted to maintain good terms with him in case it was out of Lenny's way to hook him up.

     Before Lenny had graduated, Gene and him got rather close. They didn't hang out much outside of work, but they both worked the same shifts and Gene saw him as the one person there that he could talk to. The other people he worked with were terrible. Lenny would tell Gene about some crazy thing he did on mushrooms the night before or they would just talk about life.
     Maybe it was because of all the drugs, but Lenny was great with really deep conversations. He would talk in a way that seemed meaningful, and would always listen when Gene would talk. Gene took to seeing his talks with Lenny as mutual therapy.

     Gene was looking forward to another deep conversation when he had heard that Lenny was still around. He hadn't seen him since he had graduated. He did want to buy some weed and he felt a little bad about just calling him up out of the blue for just that.
     The bottles behind the bar were shinny but the colors seemed dull. There was a sparkle to them, but it seemed like the lazy sparkle of street lights when you were too drunk to see where you were going. It was disorienting.

     The other people at the bar laughed like it wasn't Tuesday night. They talked about their plumbing and kids that they were so proud of. The bottles behind the bar shone in the low lights hanging from the ceiling   

Workin' Out

     Gene had always been a little overweight. He had been chubby as a kid and never quite grew out of it. People would always say that if you looked good you felt good. It wasn't that Gene didn't feel good, he was just sick of pulling at shirts that felt too tight and worrying that people could tell that his arm fat jiggled when he waved at people.

     He had tried diets and gym regiments before, but they would generally all end the same way. He would stick with them for a week or two and then realize that if he didn't have to worry about his weight then he would just find something else to be insecure about, its just who he was. So he would figure “What's the point?” and stop working out.

     Despite this he wanted to reach a goal that he had set for himself. Going to the gym seemed like a good one to start with so he convinced himself to do it again. He started going to the gym, determined to stick with it and accomplish something.

     And he was actually able to do it. They say that once you get past three weeks, you are over the hardest part. He was onto four and he was actually feeling better about himself. He still felt uncomfortable in tight shirts, but the exercise helped him clear his mind and he liked that.

     He even started changing his diet. He replaced all of his crappy snack food and macaroni and cheese with this with some better food: fruits, vegetables, stuff with bran in it.

     He did keep some of the snack food though. He liked to reward himself with it. The most important thing was portions. So now instead of eating a whole pizza, he would eat a few slices and save the rest for later.

     Between going to the gym and eating better, Gene really felt like he was losing weight and getting healthier. He would go to work, hit the gym on his way home after work, and have a nice balanced dinner when he got home.

     One night he got home and realized that he had stuck to this regiment for a whole month. When he got home from the gym he took a shower, had some dinner, and decided he should reward himself for sticking to his plan.

     He found a bag of tortilla chips. It was a big bag, meant to feed a family over the course of a week, twelve servings in a bag. Gene would normally finish one of these in a few nights and was excited about applying his new eating habits.

     The bag was perforated at the top and the bottom and had a flap on the back so it could be opened. Gene pulled at the top of the bag, and then at the bottom, but the perforated edges wouldn't give. He opened the flap on the back and tried to open it that way, but that also failed.

     Each time he tried to open the bag, he could feel his body shaking with effort. As he shook, so did all the fat that he realized he hadn't lost at all. Gene could feel his whole body jiggle with every pull. The longer he tried to open this family sized bag of chips, the worse he felt about the last four weeks.

     After a while, he gave up, grabbed a pair of scissors from his room and cut the bag open. He took the bag and sat in front of the TV still telling himself he was only going to eat some of them, but that voice got more and more quiet as Gene worked his way through the whole bag.